Sometimes, the relationships you never saw coming are the ones that burrow into your heart, and you refuse to give up.
Intentionally child-free, Dani falls in love with Julian, a divorced father of two. Now, she must embrace a lifestyle she’s purposely avoided or return to her single life, eating oatmeal for dinner, standing at the kitchen sink half-naked while listening to gospel music.
Julian makes her feel like she’s the heroine in a trashy romance novel, and they move in together. There, she’s presented with a Whitman’s Sampler of motherhood. The alternating weekends with his kids, Nicole and Tyler, are like babysitting—only without compensation. In time, she welcomes more responsibility and invests in the kids’ well-being. And just when she falls in love with Nicole and Tyler, Julian pulls the rug out and dumps her for a natural blonde. It’s not a traditional divorce, and Dani is unsure if she has the right to see the kids. But she will not be ignored nor abandoned, and she fights for a place in the kids’ lives, which includes Marie—the ex of her ex. With Nicole and Tyler’s insistence that Dani remains in their lives, and with Marie’s help, they prove their far-reaching tenacity for love, friendship, and family.
BOOK TRAILERS
Carl & The Girlfriend Mom Book Part Deux
Carl & The Girlfriend Mom Book Part One
REVIEWS
“Alpert’s prose is smooth… appealingly humorous in this chatty tell-all… the memoir effectively shows how the author grew as a person… earnest look at what makes a family.”—Kirkus Reviews
“The Girlfriend Mom is a fast-paced, laugh-out-loud memoir. You can tell Alpert has spent time doing stand-up comedy. There are no holds barred: She goes into exquisite (and intimate) detail on everything from her initial lack of parenting skills to her sex life to her relationship with the ex-wife… Reads more like a very funny novel.” —Karen Croke, The Journal News
“… a laugh-filled memoir… darkly funny… Narrated with honesty and wit, the book airs grievances and frustrations with nuance, flair, and comedic sensibilities… The comedy of awkward moments is emphasized, as when her boyfriend’s son steals her dildo. Astute observations and juxtapositions enliven scenes. Each person in Alpert’s story is multidimensional, evincing a deep understanding of human foibles and compassion for others. Uncertainty and heartbreak are imparted in an unflinching manner, resulting in satisfying, bittersweet lessons.”—Wendy Hinman, Foreword Reviews
“Not just a ‘Mom’s’ memoir. A strikingly honest and genuine tale which breaks down preconceptions of what family means and the resilience it takes to maintain meaningful connections… fresh and familial. The prose is dynamic and conversational and it’s where Alpert’s comic wit really shines. It’s clear the changes of Alpert’s own perspective in the way the reader jumps from laughing, crying, hating, and loving her who is so naïve yet so resilient in the fight for love. What could have been a whining ex-showbiz memoir is a thoughtful and defying story on the importance of family, no matter what you define it as… would be at home on the shelves of any bookstore.”—SPR Book Awards
“Uncensored and fearless. A gutsy book written with heartbreaking honesty and humor. A real (hilarious) look at the modern family!”—Heather Dubrow, The Real Housewives of Orange County
“Witty, engaging, and sweetly sharp, she’s a new comic voice to reckon with. Her boobs are real, and so is her attitude.”—Ali Wentworth, actress and New York Times bestselling author
“Dani is one funny lady, and like many comics, she uses her life as a prime source for her material.” – Yona Zeldis McDonough, Lilith Magazine
“Refreshing, real and utterly amusing memoir. This book has all the plot twists, character depth and conflicts of fiction, but made all the more engaging by the truth of it. The best part is the witty and completely entertaining presentation of the author’s parenting conflict. Ultimately inspiring, it will take you on a no-holds-barred journey to get there.” —Scattered Books
“Nora Ephron’s spirit comes to mind. It’s clear that she never stops thinking… I laughed much, and felt the tears coming on, too.”-Greg Stewart, TV Producer
“Dani is one funny lady, and like many comics, she uses her life as a prime source for her material.” — Yona Zeldis McDonough, Lilith Magazine
“… her humanity comes shining through in this very witty memoir. Heartwarming, funny, and revealing. Very sarcastic and Seinfeldian.”—Goodreads
“Heartwarming… funny… dynamic… a mother’s story of unconditional love, unimaginable friendship and a fierce tenacity to fight for what is right. Told with emotional truth and wit.” — mccutch12bookreviews
“… very funny… others will find this book very good.” —Crossroads Reviews
“Alpert is not only an accomplished writer but has had a long career in film and theater, working as a screenwriter, performer, producer and director… an easy writing style that makes this book a joy to read.” —Sue Fagle, Author of Childless by Marriage
“Her “this is me, warts and all” attitude carries on throughout the entire book… strong narrative and structure… compelling. It’s inspiring that Dani was able to develop such a strong relationship with these young people.” —Jami Deise, Chick Lit Central
“Dani Alpert skillfully introduces a very different niche of women with many of the responsibilities and heartaches of childrearing… There’s no one quite like a Girlfriend Mom.” —Karen Malone Wright, Founding Voice and Chief Executive, The NotMom
“Instead of sugar-coating, she exposes her trepidation and the stakes involved in defining the quasi-parental step role.”—Kate Kaufmann, Author of Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No
“… humor, curiosity, wit and bemusement… Always searching, never pining or moping, content, even with discontent. Dazzling. The ever-talented writer and comedienne, body and mind perfect, Dani Alpert, aka the imperfect Girlfriend Mom.” —John Kalish, TV Executive & Producer
“Harrowing, hilarious, and ultimately hopeful. Her global effort to keep moving forward at all costs shows how going backwards can lead to some unexpected places – most surprisingly, to yourself.” —Heidi Shink, Co-Author of 3 Minutes to a Pain-Free Life
“An entertaining read of complex, emotional substance. I appreciate Alpert’s candor with the messier parts of her inner journey. She includes several lukewarm reviews after the usual glowing ones… made me laugh and gave me a sense of her personality before even beginning the book. Her perspective is not one I’ve seen before and I appreciate the venue this book creates for discussion.” — Lyz Rudolph-Michaels, Laura Carroll’s LiveTrue Collection
“Alpert’s memoir begins with an opening chapter that describes herself as a has-been cause she’s never been, setting the tone for the brand of humor that this work is filled with… The true love story isn’t between the adults but with Alpert and the two kids. With the heart of Stepmom and the witty, unapologetic humor of Bridesmaids, Alpert creates a compelling, moving narrative where my only complaint is that I wish I could read more.” —Ariel Arguelles, The Hopeful Wanderer
“… she candidly & comedically shares her mistakes (what kid doesn’t want a donation to the Alzheimer’s Foundation as a Christmas gift?), unflinching, uncensored, raw emotion… hilarious, heartfelt & hopeful. The Girlfriend Mom is well-written, gutsy & compelling.” —Mom_loves_reading
“This bittersweet memoir is full of the good, the bad, and the funny of parenting in a modern American Family. I laughed and I cried. But most of all, I was moved by Dani’s wit and honesty.” —Nurse_bookie
“… both a cautionary tale and a guide on how you can create a family for yourself WITHOUT giving birth… entertaining… warmed my heart.” —The Bitchy Bookkeeper
“… a gift. A bravely transparent Alpert gives readers an all-access pass to the good, bad, and ugly… self-aware ruminating.”—ReadyMommy
“… honesty, humor, and the message that a family’s love and deep commitment runs deep—regardless of bloodlines.” —Barbara Herel, Producer, Every Family’s Got One
“… hysterical, irreverent and really fun. I didn’t expect to be so moved by the story… a great book to gift yourself.” —Kathy Radigan, Writer, My Dishwasher’s Possessed
“In her humorous new book, Dani shares the good, the bad and the oh, so funny of taking on the role of an uncompensated babysitter-turned-confidant who can’t imagine life without her boyfriend’s kids. That is, until she has to, seven years later, when she’s dumped for a natural blonde.” —NYU Alumni, Class Notes
“… strong elements to the narrative (especially the humor throughout) … I laughed out loud… candor in speaking directly to the reader.”—Lisa Gallagher, DiFiore & Co.
“I loved this book! Funny and honest! Wish I’d read it sooner! I’m giving 5 stars.” —Amy Roe, your book or mine