Is Your Vagina Stoned?

Getting my lady parts stoned was never on my ‘to do’ list.

Every time I think I put writing about the magical powers, and storing capabilities of the vagina behind me, I get sucked back in. Yes, I realize how this sounds.

I stumbled upon a product called Foria. It’s been around for a couple of years. Where have I been? Foria is a lubricant that contains cannabis: a gentle mix of marijuana and coconut oil. FYI, coconut oil can prevent yeast infections. Yet another use for that ever-popular drupe (not a nut).

I’m old school. Cocaine in the vagina, sure that I’ve heard of, but getting my vagina wasted on cannabis? Uh…

Foria can be used as a de-stressor, to relax the pelvic floor and to enhance sexual pleasure. So can Pilates.

I’m not sure I want my cooter to be tripping. It’s already pretty trippy. If you get your vagina high, a side effect may be feeling loosey goosey. I can’t speak for other women, but I much prefer mighty tighty.

What if my cooter gets the munchies? Do I spoon feed it a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a sleeve of Oreos? I suppose I could grab a handful of vegetables, which is good because my cooter is a healthy eater.

Foria Relief is a suppository that one can stick up either orifice. It’s supposed to help with symptoms associated with a women’s menses. But why stick it in your bum? Hemorrhoidal pain? These products are not FDA approved and Foria Relief is only available in CA. Shocking.

I surfed the internet, falling further down the rabbit hole, reading about vagina toking, and came upon a new yoga for the vagina called Vagoga. You call it Vagoga, I call it Pilates.

Stand by for my thoughts on reusable menstrual pads from Torjacek Farms. Not a joke, wish it were.