Knit One, Vulva Two

Knit one, vulva two. Or is it knit one, purl two? I’m definitely late coming to this party but better late than never.

I thought after the Vaginal Yogurt scandal and my crack reporting on Vaginal Weightlifting that the hoo hoo was out of wondrous activities. I was wrong. Again. 

When I was first made aware of this bizarre craft, I thought wow, can this woman’s vagina actually knit? Could she spin the yarn with her vulva, or make slip knots with her clitoris? That would deserve a standing O and I would write a favorable post about this Christmas miracle. I might try it myself. It’s winter and I could use a new pair of mittens.

But alas this was not the case. In 2013, feminist artist, Casey Jenkins, performed a piece called, “Casting Off My Womb.” She literally inserted a cream colored skein of wool into her hoo, pulled out the thread from the middle, sat on a table with her legs demurely spread apart in an art gallery, and for the next 28 days used the vaginal yarn to knit a sweater, or scarf (I don’t know does it matter?).

The number of days is relevant because she continued to backstitch and weave all through her period, which was, as she reported, a lot harder to knit because the wool was wet. And let’s not forget the color pattern also changed, and yet she persevered.

What the fuck is going on outside my front door? This is why I don’t leave the house.

Ms. Jenkins wanted her performance to address taboos surrounding the female genitalia, dispelling fear and negative associations. Who are these frightened people raising their voices against the scary vulva? And is shoving a skein of wool inside her snatch, and knitting a hat calming or dispelling anything?

She thought her demonstration was natural. No, Casey, it’s not. If it were, then there would be a whole lot more of us ladies crafting caftans with our cooters in public spaces, or while watching TV with our families.

She commented on how sometimes she would get aroused by the wool. Well, yeah. I have to admit that there’s something to be said for having a product at the end of her demonstration. I’m all for making things and you can’t claim the same when one uses an adult toy or live male appendage.

There are other female artists who have tested the limits of the public’s uneasiness with the naked female form and if I can stop laughing long enough to write about them, I will. I fail to see how this is going to make people more comfortable. I think it might have the opposite effect.

Casey used her vagina as a mailbox, or container, (as it often is) so how are those afraid of the powerful vulva any less scared or unnerved? To me the video is tame and innocuous. I’m more impressed with some of the women in the Hangover movies, and those who can smoke with their hoo.